Dear Condescending Neighbor

Dear Condescending Neighbor,
The anonymous notes that you leave on my door are neither helpful nor constructive. Your anonymity does not allow me to address the problem with you personally. But, you probably do not want to discuss the issue, because if you did (as any reasonable person would), you would have signed your note.

It is quite cowardly of you to continue to insult me and my intelligence behind the veil of typewritten letters. Yes, I realize my dog barks, as do most dogs with vocal cords. Yes, I am aware that I signed a lease stating that I would "be cognizant and respectful of the other people around" me. Forgive me if I am wrong, but I believe you signed the same lease I did. Your notes border on harassment. How respectful is that?

I do not need a lesson in apartment living from you. You can continually call me "disrespectful," "inconsiderate," and "a downright nuisance." Unfortunately for you, your insults fall on deaf ears, because as I see it, people who attack others through anonymous notes are cowards. Perhaps if you bothered to show your face, you would learn that I am quite respectful of my neighbors and am doing everything humanely possible to deal with my dog's separation anxiety. You suggested I leave "the premises." I guess you are unfamiliar with how leases work. Believe me, I would gladly leave this dump if management would release me from my lease.

I suppose I could try to seek you out. I could walk around knocking on doors, waving the letter in the face of whomever answers, asking if they wrote it. But you and I both know that won't work. You won't admit to writing it, because then you'd have to admit to acting immaturely. I think I will save my breath.

Alas, I will have to wait for you, the anonymous bully, to report me to management as you have threatened to do. Then we can duke it out face to face. I can't wait!


Until then and with much love,
Meghan


P.S. I am almost positive that the 5-6 minutes of barking doesn't stop my neighbors from "enjoy[ing] there (sic) morning routines."