Etiquette - For People Who Throw Showers

Practically everyone knows that sending a thank-you card after receiving a gift is both polite and necessary. It shows that you appreciate the giver's thoughtfulness. Unfortunately, an incredibly rude trend has started to take hold of the "shower world." Not only are there showers for nearly every event in one's life (engagement, bridal, baby, etc.), the throwers of these showers are now demanding that guests fill out their own thank-you cards/envelopes.

Excuse me?! Let me get this straight: I came to shower you with gifts, and you're asking me to thank myself for you? Nothing is more irritating than walking into a shower, having a gift swiped from your hands before you can remove your coat, and hearing someone bellow from another room that you need to fill out your card. Coming in at a close second - receiving the thank-you card weeks later and wondering why you sent yourself mail.

Now, to be fair, the guest of honor may not have know that her thrower intended to employ this rude practice. But, that doesn't make it any less bad-mannered. The thrower managed to collect all of the addresses to send out the invitations, and she should have them on file. Isn't it curious that she had all the information when she asked people to bring gifts, but not when the time came to thank people for them?

I love the excuses these throwers make. "So and so will be too busy to fill all of these out. She's got enough on her plate already." "I figured it would be so much easier for everyone to fill their own out. That way no one is forgotten!" If the guest of honor is too busy to write out her own thank-you cards/envelopes, then she is too busy to attend the shower and receive gifts. We're all busy. Guests have to take time out of their schedules and money out of their pockets to attend a shower with a gift. The least the recipient can do is thank them...personally.

Now that I've made my thoughts heard on the whole thank-you debacle, I've got something even more boorish to throw at you - the sheer size of most showers nowadays. It is NOT okay to invite your aunt's boyfriend's mother, unless of course she is a close friend of the honoree. Showers have gotten too big lately, and throwers are reaching too far in an attempt to secure more and more gifts. If a prospective guest does not know the honoree personally, they should no longer be considered a prospective guest. Showers are supposed to be intimate occasions where the honoree's close friends and relatives supply advice and necessities for a new stage in life. They are not supposed to be huge events attended by everyone who has even the slightest connection to the honoree's family.

While I can control only my own behavior, rest assured that anyone and everyone who's stuck with me as a shower thrower will be filling out their own thank-yous.