A Teeny Rant

I am hardly a perfect writer (or speaker for that matter). I make mistakes. I’m sure my posts are littered with grammatical errors, spelling errors, punctuation errors, etc. I can’t diagram a sentence. I don’t know when to use “who” and when to use “whom.” I don’t even know what an adverb is. (Although I’ll be looking that up after finishing this post.) I doubt there is a person on this planet who knows anything and everything there is to know about the written English language. However, I’ve seen (and heard) some pretty atrocious things written (and spoken) by otherwise intelligent people. Here are three of my biggest peeves:

The I-Me Complex

I don’t know who deserves the blame for this I-Me problem. Maybe the schools? Parents? TV? In any case, it is blatantly apparent to me that a large portion of the American people see the use of “I” instead of “me” in any context as an easy way to sound “smart” and proper. Oh no, no, no. There are many situations for which the use of “me” is necessary, and people who omit “me” in attempt to sound smart ending up sounding, well, stooopid. I know that someone who majored in English (or perhaps paid more attention in English class) could explain the following in much more detail with fancy terms and diagrams, but you’re stuck with me. Deal with it!

Mom took Tracey and I to the store.
Greg asked Michael and I to help him move.
This is a picture of Jackie and I on the beach.

All three of these sentences are incorrect. Think about it. Once the person partaking in the activity with you is removed (And I’m sure there’s a special term for that person, but I don’t know it.), you’re left sounding like this:

Mom took I to the store.
Greg asked I to help him move.
This is a picture of I on the beach.

Perform this test next time you’re thinking about using “I” instead of “me.” If the “I” can’t stand alone, then the “I” should not be used.

Here’s the same situation from the opposite direction:

Tracey and me went to the store.
Greg and me asked Michael to help Bob move.

WRONG!

Here are the sentences post-test:

Me went to the store.
Me asked Michael to help Bob move.

Obviously the “me” cannot stand alone, so “I” should be used.

Apostrophes

I hate it when I see something like, “I brought my cat’s inside.” I always want to ask, “Your cat’s what?” or “Oh my God you gutted your cat!” An apostrophe never makes something plural! Apostrophes are used to show possession or to signify a contraction. (i.e. Meghan’s book, it’s = it is) (There are other uses – like for quotes in research papers – but I’m not going to get into that.) Interestingly enough, I discovered fairly recently that “hers” and “yours” should not include apostrophes. Go figure!

You’re, Your, Their, They’re, There

These are pretty self-explanatory. Obviously these words have different meanings and are not interchangeable.

You’re = contraction – you are
Your = possessive

Their = possessive
They’re = contraction – they are
There = a position in space